Think about when you first learned to ride a bicycle. You had to consciously pay attention to staying balanced, keeping your eyes on the road, holding onto the handlebars and steering in your desired direction. Then the more you practiced the stronger your bicycle riding pathways became.

Eventually you were able to get on your bike and ride without thinking. You were operating on automatic. A strong bicycle-riding brain neuro- pathway had been created as though new software had been uploaded and was seamlessly operating in your mind.

Your brain works the same way in forming how you think about yourself - your self-esteem. As a child your thoughts about yourself are formed from the messages you heard, believed and internalized from the important and influential people in your life.

For example, if you were continually made fun of by classmates and not invited to play with them when you were a child, you have probably developed a low self esteem thought pattern regarding friends and social situations. As a result, as an adult, obsessive thinking reflecting these thought patterns, may automatically surface in social gatherings where you experience anxiety, fear and nervousness based on thoughts like:

• People don’t like me.
• I was only invited to this party because they had to.
• Nobody’s going to talk to me.
• I don’t know what to say.

Research has shown that dominant thoughts can be changed. If you want to increase your self esteem. You can change your thoughts, feelings and behaviors with consistent regular practice. It is the same as learning a new skill. Learning takes time, practice and patience. It is generally agreed that it takes 30 to 40 days of consistent regular practice to “install” a new habit and create a new brain pathway. The challenge you face in creating new brain pathways is that humans are used to operating on automatic and are generally asleep to the thoughts they are thinking. So, how do you wake up and become aware of the thoughts that form what you think and how you feel about yourself given that you think thousands of thoughts each and every day?

• Do these thoughts increase self esteem?
• Am I empowered or disempowered by these thoughts?

If you are disempowered by your thoughts you can now choose new thoughts, creating new brain pathways that are aligned with your values and dreams and support your healthy self-esteem. Some healthy self-esteem generating thoughts are:

• I choose the thoughts that I think.
• I have access to the support and resources to live a satisfying and fulfilling life.
• I am the author of my experience through the thoughts that I think.
• I am confident.
• I embody healthy self-esteem.

Remember: The very act of noticing your thoughts and taking action to change them is empowering. This sends a strong message to the brain that says “I am a person who is in control of my thoughts. I consciously choose the thoughts I think and how I react to life’s circumstances.

Follow these steps to cultivate healthy self-esteem brain pathways:

1. When you notice you are having an empowered thought, stop for a moment and congratulate yourself. This acknowledgment reinforces your healthy self-esteem brain pathway.

2. When you notice you are having a disempowered thought, stop and acknowledge yourself for noticing. Take a deep breath and say, “I am responsible for my life and right now, I choose to love and accept myself.” Then empower yourself with actions that generate good feelings (exercise, talking with a friend, acknowledging your accomplishments, helping someone, singing, dancing, etc…). This strengthens your healthy self-esteem neuro-pathways.

You’re now on your way to cultivating healthy self-esteem.

For more ways on How To Increase Self Esteem try our self esteem activities section. Also many of these articles have information on how to increase self esteem.