Learn How To Increase Self Esteem

Here are some ideas and techniques for How To Increase Self Esteem

What is self esteem? Quite simply self-esteem is what you think, believe and feel about yourself. While everyone has self-esteem not everyone has healthy self-esteem.

Healthy self-esteem means that you continually make choices in your thoughts and actions that are aligned with and support your values, peace of mind and your dreams. Increasing your self-esteem is a process, not something you develop overnight. You can think of it like a muscle that requires regular exercise to be strengthened and maintained.

To Learn How To Increase Self Esteem You Must:

  • Understand how your brain works and its impact on your thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
  • Recognize that you are the author of your life and that your mindset directly influences your destiny.
  • Accept radical responsibility for your mindset making choices that are consciously generated from your values, dreams and goals.
  • Develop the skills necessary to upgrade the software of your mind to shift your thinking to promote healthy self esteem.

    The Brain and how to Increase Self Esteem
    How does your human brain work? Your brain is composed of approximately one hundred billion nerve cells, called neurons. Neurons have the capacity to gather and transmit electrochemical signals creating neuro-pathways. When you initially learn something the pathway or connection is weak. The more frequently you think a specific thought and practice a particular behavior the stronger the brain pathway becomes, forming an automatic habit of thinking and action.

    Think about when you first learned to ride a bicycle. You had to consciously pay attention to staying balanced, keeping your eyes on the road, holding onto the handlebars and steering in your desired direction. Then the more you practiced the stronger your bicycle riding pathways became.

    Eventually you were able to get on your bike and ride without thinking. You were operating on automatic. A strong bicycle-riding brain neuro- pathway had been created as though new software had been uploaded and was seamlessly operating in your mind.

    Your brain works the same way in forming how you think about yourself - your self-esteem. As a child your thoughts about yourself are formed from the messages you heard, believed and internalized from the important and influential people in your life.

    For example, if you were continually made fun of by classmates and not invited to play with them when you were a child, you have probably developed a low self esteem thought pattern regarding friends and social situations. As a result, as an adult, obsessive thinking reflecting these thought patterns, may automatically surface in social gatherings where you experience anxiety, fear and nervousness based on thoughts like:

    • People don’t like me.
    • I was only invited to this party because they had to.
    • Nobody’s going to talk to me.
    • I don’t know what to say.
    These beliefs form your dominant thought pattern. They are a habit of thinking, operating on automatic that trigger, consciously or unconsciously your feelings and reactions to the circumstances of your life.

    Research has shown that dominant thoughts can be changed. If you want to increase your self esteem. You can change your thoughts, feelings and behaviors with consistent regular practice. It is the same as learning a new skill. Learning takes time, practice and patience. It is generally agreed that it takes 30 to 40 days of consistent regular practice to “install” a new habit and create a new brain pathway. The challenge you face in creating new brain pathways is that humans are used to operating on automatic and are generally asleep to the thoughts they are thinking. So, how do you wake up and become aware of the thoughts that form what you think and how you feel about yourself given that you think thousands of thoughts each and every day?

    How to Increase Self Esteem

    You start by noticing your feelings since your feelings are generated by your thoughts. You then ask yourself, “When I am feeling (name your feeling), what thoughts am I thinking (name your thoughts)?” With this conscious awareness of your thoughts you then ask yourself:
    • Do these thoughts increase self esteem?
    • Am I empowered or disempowered by these thoughts?

    If you are disempowered by your thoughts you can now choose new thoughts, creating new brain pathways that are aligned with your values and dreams and support your healthy self-esteem. Some healthy self-esteem generating thoughts are:

    • I choose the thoughts that I think.
    • I have access to the support and resources to live a satisfying and fulfilling life.
    • I am the author of my experience through the thoughts that I think.
    • I am confident.
    • I embody healthy self-esteem.

    Remember: The very act of noticing your thoughts and taking action to change them is empowering. This sends a strong message to the brain that says “I am a person who is in control of my thoughts. I consciously choose the thoughts I think and how I react to life’s circumstances.

    Follow these steps to cultivate healthy self-esteem brain pathways:

    1. When you notice you are having an empowered thought, stop for a moment and congratulate yourself. This acknowledgment reinforces your healthy self-esteem brain pathway.

    2. When you notice you are having a disempowered thought, stop and acknowledge yourself for noticing. Take a deep breath and say, “I am responsible for my life and right now, I choose to love and accept myself.” Then empower yourself with actions that generate good feelings (exercise, talking with a friend, acknowledging your accomplishments, helping someone, singing, dancing, etc…). This strengthens your healthy self-esteem neuro-pathways.

    You’re now on your way to cultivating healthy self-esteem.

    For more ways on How To Increase Self Esteem try our self esteem activities section. Also many of these articles have information on how to increase self esteem.

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